No matter how many holiday seasons have passed after your divorce, they can still prove challenging, particularly so when you and your former spouse have children in common. Navigating the post-divorce world as a parent can prove challenging in ways that may very well have been initially unforeseen. Each passing of a holiday may bring to light new difficulties and uncharted territory to navigate. As we fully surface from the passing of the holiday season, let us reflect on some of the more common mistakes co-parents tend to make after the holidays in the hopes that the next time the season comes around, we are better prepared.
Mistakes Co-Parents Make After the Holidays
It is somehow inherent in our natures to try and compare ourselves to others. When you are co-parenting during the holidays, you may find it very difficult to avoid comparing yourself as a parent to your co-parent. What activities has your co-parent done with the children? What gifts has your co-parent given to your children? What traditions, new and old, are your co-parenting establishing with your children? You can all too easily drive yourself to distraction with the answers to these questions and comparing them to what you have done with your children or given to your children. After the holidays, the comparisons likely continue to run through your mind. To avoid the anxiety and feelings of insecurity that can come with this, try your best to avoid comparison, as difficult as it may be. You likely have more than enough on your plate. Focus on your time and your traditions with your children. Focus on the joy that comes with it.
It is also an all too common practice for a parent to put down or make remarks to diminish the efforts made by a co-parent over the holidays. After the presents have been unwrapped and the decorations put away, comments may continue to pour out about what the other parent may have done or not done for the children over the holidays. While these comments are usually misdirected anger or resentment, or simply sadness at missed time with the children over the holidays, they can have a devastating impact on children. Supporting your co-parent and fostering, or at least working to maintain, a positive relationship between your co-parent and your children will benefit your children far into the future. Furthermore, it can often ease many of the more difficult aspects of co-parenting if you show a united and supportive front with your co-parent. Again, this is likely easier said than done, but is important, nonetheless.
Lastly, another common mistake made by coparents after the holidays is failing to talk to their attorneys about important issues that may have come to light over the holidays. For instance, logistics and timing of visitation may not have worked out. Perhaps you need to revisit your parenting plan and seek modification of the parenting schedule. Talk to your attorney about your options to address the issues that may have been highlighted during the holidays.
Family Law Attorney
The difficulties of co-parenting after a divorce can be seemingly endless. Having a solid custody arrangement and parenting plan in place can greatly help matters. For assistance with this and related legal issues, Cohen Family Law is here to help. Contact us today.